#307: 10 Things I Learnt in 2015

1. I learn something new every day.

2. Don’t judge a book by its cover, especially people working in the service and F&B industries. Discard the perception that people working in the service and F&B sectors “can’t study”/”have no future”/”are of lower social standing”. Times have changed; some go into culinary arts because they have a genuine passion for it. Also, even college and university students work part-time in retail and F&B to earn some extra cash.

3. There is no shame in what job you hold if you are earning an honest living. There’s this stigma regarding people working in the service line, F&B, as cleaners, construction workers, etc. After working my first part time job earlier this year, I now understand better what service and F&B staff go through on a daily basis. Their jobs are tough, involving long hours and requiring patience, tolerance, and humility. This translates to my newfound respect for cleaners, construction workers, and the like. They do the jobs that we “educated people” strive to avoid in future, but those roles still have to be filled someone, and I’m thankful and applaud everyone working in these sectors; young or old, local or foreign, regardless of background or history. The jobs they hold are just as honourable, if not more honourable, than white and perhaps, even blue-collar jobs.

4. Take/create more carefully, purposefully thought out photos. Don’t just point and shoot, or throw on layers upon layers of filters, airbrushes, and fades. Make art.

5. Being alone/spending alone time is perfectly fine. No shame in doing things by yourself. It can be liberating in fact, the freedom to do whatever you want, go wherever you want. You may also look at things with a slightly different perspective as well.

6. Be more open-minded. Make new friends, laugh at your own silliness, entertain and respect other opinions and perspectives, don’t be rudely surprised if things happen in outcomes that deviate from your schema and scripts.

7. Don’t be afraid to confide in people you’ve been friends for some time. And likewise, do the same for those people. Because, there are some things we just can’t keep to ourselves, some things we just have to talk about it with others. Get it out of our system, share the burden, support one another.

8. Invest in clothes, shoes, accessories – fashion in general – that allow you to mix-and-match with what you already have, that adds to your existing wardrobe.

9. Acknowledgement, acceptance, moving on. Sometimes, good things come to an end. We may have no control over their unravelling. We may have regrets that if we did this or that, or didn’t do this or that, things might have turned out differently. As arduous as it may be, we try our best to come to terms with it, to learn from it. It hurts, it hurts like hell. We may try and try and just fall apart when it gets too much. Then we let the dust settle, and start again. We just keep repeating this healing and falling apart until we’re okay. Specifically relationship-wise, it doesn’t mean that we don’t care about them, nor stop loving them. We still do, we still care about them very much, we still love them, we can still hope. Just with this in mind: to be fair to them and to ourselves, we gotta be what they need us to be, and we gotta be the kind of person we need to be for ourselves.

10. Be thankful and contented. Often, we get too caught up chasing after more and more that we forget what we already have, what we take for granted. In a world and time when it seems hard to feel genuine satisfaction, counting our blessings and being grateful for what we already have helps us be more at peace with ourselves. Being at peace with ourselves, is seriously underrated.

So please ask yourself: ‘What would I do if I weren’t afraid?’ And then go do it.” Into 2016 we go.

#307: 10 Things I Learnt in 2015

#195: “sometimes you need to let go.”

Today God wants you to know that sometimes you need to let go. Yes, it hurts when the things or the people we love are taken from us. Make your peace with loss. Nothing lasts forever. Like the trees in autumn, you too must learn to shed your attachments and start afresh.

#note #to #self

#195: “sometimes you need to let go.”

#192: Fallen back into old patterns.

There’s no use denying it, now that things are like this. Things have changed and they will never go back to how they were before. I miss it everyday, as much as I try not to think about it, and everyday I futilely hope that things could go back to how they used to be. I guess some things just won’t. I guess some things will change (or have to change) because they cannot revert back to how they were before.

At this juncture, I realize that, I’ve fallen back into old patterns. I’ve gone through this sequence of events before, just with different people. Befriending, getting to know each other, talking, getting to know each other better, spending time with each other along with a group of mutual friends, talking more, spending time with each other, sharing about ourselves, growing closer…and it just stops there for some reason, all the time.

Something always breaks it all up, when everything just started to get better. What’s worrying is how it always comes so suddenly, that when I finally notice it and come to terms with it, it’s too late. Over the years I’ve been learning to try and handle this better; most recently I’ve learnt to try and talk things out. Although it has given me some temporary reprieve, I can tell from the looks of things now, that I screwed up and things have changed.

I’m tired of this cycle. I’ve been hoping that someday, I’ll finally break out of it. Then I realized two things about that earlier statement: One, that ‘hope’ seems to be the veil that masks the trigger that causes everything to fall apart all of a sudden every time; Two, ‘someday’ is just a euphemism for ‘never’ (courtesy of Knight and Day, starring Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz). And despite the resentment and apprehension I feel towards how negatively things are right now, truth is, I just really want things to be okay again.

Things have changed and they will never go back to how they were before. I can only hope that everything will be alright soon. Why hope while knowing the danger is poses? Well, it’s all I’ve got. Right now I guess I have to let go of all this for a while and just hope and wait. But I’m afraid that one day I’ll just stop waiting and just move on, leaving things unsettled and forever unrepaired. I just, really don’t want this to be the case this time, especially with you.

“After the fall
we can recover
what’s left in the dark
can still be discovered”

#192: Fallen back into old patterns.