#363: 2018, Day 1

I believe everybody is alive to fight.

Arsene Wenger (2017)

I hope to be someone like this this year, to fight for the people and the causes that are worth fighting for.

I don’t feel like I’ve done it as much in 2017. So, in 2018, I hope to continue to be brave, and fight for those people and those causes.

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#363: 2018, Day 1

#276: “I learned that most people are too caught up in their own insecurities to focus on mine.”

“Why You Should Love Your Body” on TIME Magazine: Living – Beauty (April 21, 2015)

An encouraging read for plus size girls/women, and for everyone in fact, regardless of our body sizes. Why? Because this write up reinforces the most fundamental principle that all of us find ourselves struggling with at some points in time of our lives: to embrace who we are. Once we let go of our inhibitions, those negative thoughts circling in our heads that dissuade us from trying this and that because of our discomfort with what we see in the mirror, we’ll find ourselves going out to experience all sorts of experiences, and feel all sorts of feelings in the world. And more often than not, we’ll be happier with ourselves and our lives.

#276: “I learned that most people are too caught up in their own insecurities to focus on mine.”

#225: Heart and Hesitance

don’t think too deeply,
Don’t be so scared of the things you love

Diving into waves over deeper waters
Fools from far away close enough to fall in
Well I never could say, I never could say again; what I wanted
I never could see, I never could see the waves, that rolled you under

– Young Summer (Waves That Rolled You Under, Fever Dream EP)

#225: Heart and Hesitance

#189: They don’t tell you what to do when the talking stops.

It just occurred to me tonight that, we don’t often hear about advice on what to do, when you and the (non-family) person you talk to/text daily suddenly stop conversing. It goes on for a few hours, then an entire day, and then for two days.

What happens, when you have the urge to talk to them? Just about anything under the sun? Just so that the two of you are talking again like you used to, everyday. Even if all the while a lot of what you two have talked about are mundane or simply the littlest things in life, at least, the two of you spoke to each other, everyday. So what do you do, when you want so much to talk to them again?

But, you are concerned that you are annoying them. You are worried that maybe they need a break from talking to you for a while. That’s alright, it’s nothing to worry about actually. Friends with good relationships with one another can go on for periods of time without communicating, and yet when they finally get the chance to, they just click together and hit off perfectly fine.

Still, you can’t help but worry that your constant desire to want to talk to them makes you intrusive, clingy, boring, making them all the more less interested in wanting to converse with you. You want to give them space, but you’re afraid of losing them, in the sense that, you will never regain this unique relationship of being able to talk to each other everyday. Because now that it has stopped, only do you truly realize how great it was to be able to converse with someone everyday about anything and everything.

And you want it back. You want them back. You are scared of losing them because over this time of consistent conversation, you have subconsciously valued them more and more, till now, they have become someone of great value in your life. And you’re afraid, that perhaps, although you are someone valuable to them, they do not value you as much as you value them.

Of course, there are a host of other factors to consider. For my case, some of my actions may have caused things to be uncomfortable and awkward; I may have crossed a fragile line a couple of times… After a little reflecting, I do realize such possibilities. But, it may already be too late. I, may have lost the unique relationship I have with this wonderful person, that we can talk everyday, just about anything, from the last thing that person said. And, I may never get it back, and that’s something I’ll have to live with for, quite a while.

#189: They don’t tell you what to do when the talking stops.