#307: 10 Things I Learnt in 2015

1. I learn something new every day.

2. Don’t judge a book by its cover, especially people working in the service and F&B industries. Discard the perception that people working in the service and F&B sectors “can’t study”/”have no future”/”are of lower social standing”. Times have changed; some go into culinary arts because they have a genuine passion for it. Also, even college and university students work part-time in retail and F&B to earn some extra cash.

3. There is no shame in what job you hold if you are earning an honest living. There’s this stigma regarding people working in the service line, F&B, as cleaners, construction workers, etc. After working my first part time job earlier this year, I now understand better what service and F&B staff go through on a daily basis. Their jobs are tough, involving long hours and requiring patience, tolerance, and humility. This translates to my newfound respect for cleaners, construction workers, and the like. They do the jobs that we “educated people” strive to avoid in future, but those roles still have to be filled someone, and I’m thankful and applaud everyone working in these sectors; young or old, local or foreign, regardless of background or history. The jobs they hold are just as honourable, if not more honourable, than white and perhaps, even blue-collar jobs.

4. Take/create more carefully, purposefully thought out photos. Don’t just point and shoot, or throw on layers upon layers of filters, airbrushes, and fades. Make art.

5. Being alone/spending alone time is perfectly fine. No shame in doing things by yourself. It can be liberating in fact, the freedom to do whatever you want, go wherever you want. You may also look at things with a slightly different perspective as well.

6. Be more open-minded. Make new friends, laugh at your own silliness, entertain and respect other opinions and perspectives, don’t be rudely surprised if things happen in outcomes that deviate from your schema and scripts.

7. Don’t be afraid to confide in people you’ve been friends for some time. And likewise, do the same for those people. Because, there are some things we just can’t keep to ourselves, some things we just have to talk about it with others. Get it out of our system, share the burden, support one another.

8. Invest in clothes, shoes, accessories – fashion in general – that allow you to mix-and-match with what you already have, that adds to your existing wardrobe.

9. Acknowledgement, acceptance, moving on. Sometimes, good things come to an end. We may have no control over their unravelling. We may have regrets that if we did this or that, or didn’t do this or that, things might have turned out differently. As arduous as it may be, we try our best to come to terms with it, to learn from it. It hurts, it hurts like hell. We may try and try and just fall apart when it gets too much. Then we let the dust settle, and start again. We just keep repeating this healing and falling apart until we’re okay. Specifically relationship-wise, it doesn’t mean that we don’t care about them, nor stop loving them. We still do, we still care about them very much, we still love them, we can still hope. Just with this in mind: to be fair to them and to ourselves, we gotta be what they need us to be, and we gotta be the kind of person we need to be for ourselves.

10. Be thankful and contented. Often, we get too caught up chasing after more and more that we forget what we already have, what we take for granted. In a world and time when it seems hard to feel genuine satisfaction, counting our blessings and being grateful for what we already have helps us be more at peace with ourselves. Being at peace with ourselves, is seriously underrated.

So please ask yourself: ‘What would I do if I weren’t afraid?’ And then go do it.” Into 2016 we go.

#307: 10 Things I Learnt in 2015

#189: They don’t tell you what to do when the talking stops.

It just occurred to me tonight that, we don’t often hear about advice on what to do, when you and the (non-family) person you talk to/text daily suddenly stop conversing. It goes on for a few hours, then an entire day, and then for two days.

What happens, when you have the urge to talk to them? Just about anything under the sun? Just so that the two of you are talking again like you used to, everyday. Even if all the while a lot of what you two have talked about are mundane or simply the littlest things in life, at least, the two of you spoke to each other, everyday. So what do you do, when you want so much to talk to them again?

But, you are concerned that you are annoying them. You are worried that maybe they need a break from talking to you for a while. That’s alright, it’s nothing to worry about actually. Friends with good relationships with one another can go on for periods of time without communicating, and yet when they finally get the chance to, they just click together and hit off perfectly fine.

Still, you can’t help but worry that your constant desire to want to talk to them makes you intrusive, clingy, boring, making them all the more less interested in wanting to converse with you. You want to give them space, but you’re afraid of losing them, in the sense that, you will never regain this unique relationship of being able to talk to each other everyday. Because now that it has stopped, only do you truly realize how great it was to be able to converse with someone everyday about anything and everything.

And you want it back. You want them back. You are scared of losing them because over this time of consistent conversation, you have subconsciously valued them more and more, till now, they have become someone of great value in your life. And you’re afraid, that perhaps, although you are someone valuable to them, they do not value you as much as you value them.

Of course, there are a host of other factors to consider. For my case, some of my actions may have caused things to be uncomfortable and awkward; I may have crossed a fragile line a couple of times… After a little reflecting, I do realize such possibilities. But, it may already be too late. I, may have lost the unique relationship I have with this wonderful person, that we can talk everyday, just about anything, from the last thing that person said. And, I may never get it back, and that’s something I’ll have to live with for, quite a while.

#189: They don’t tell you what to do when the talking stops.