I gave in to the darkness, I’m stuck in a rut. Tim Urban dubbed it the ‘Instant Gratification Monkey’, but mine, mine is an outright beast. Or maybe it isn’t. Come to think of it, it is more sinister. It seduces me, it persuades me effortless to take my focus and my energy off everything that matters most, and instead, engage in meaningless activities that can be partaken at another time.
I know it, I acknowledge it. I know I have to defeat it, but I still give in to the darkness. It’s comforting, it always welcomes me. I’m always left guilty and disappointed in myself after it’s done with me. I hate it. I hate that it’s a part of me.
But every time it visits, I still give in to it. I lose, all the time.