#240: the distance and the gravel

With each day that passes, the more packed your schedule becomes. You fill your daily itinerary, with more hours on your legs to earn some pocket money – on top of the hours you spend standing while you learn from the finest local pastry chef tutors – and determination to make progress in chasing your modelling dream. Practicality, independence, passion-driven education and lofty aspirations – I admire you for how your time is packed with things that mean something.

But in the midst of this, I began to feel that you were going to have less time for me from now on, so my selfishness kicked in. The freshly carved distance that inevitably came with your personal pursuits, I amplified it by focusing on myself and how you were going to spend less time with me; I put a distance between you and me. Even though on one hand I was happy for you and on the other I wasn’t for myself, it was a stupid thing to do, what I did.

I knew better, but I should have understood better. I know you need time to chase after your dreams, but I should understand better than the more time you spend away from me while doing so, all the more I have to give you my understanding and support.

We managed to relive the afternoons and evenings we used to spend not too long ago once again earlier today. Personal time together, each other’s company. It was a nostalgia that made me feel weird typing the word ‘nostalgia’; you’ve only started to get busier recently. The road isn’t as smooth now, a few more things have been added into the mix of this shared life we embarked slightly over seven months ago, more from your end. I am concerned about how things will pan out down the road, when things get jumbled up even more when a new life starts for me.

Our countermeasure’s already in place though. We’ll work it out together, and let’s just leave it at that for now. Because this evening, spent in your embrace, loving touch and playful kisses, I fell in love with you all over again.


#240: the distance and the gravel

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