#223: It’s a pity; such a shame.

That’s the thought that comes to my mind whenever I see guys who are my peers, give or take a few years older or younger, who have more toned bodies than mine. A pleasing physique like theirs is the reward they reap from the time and effort they’ve put in, exercising, training, sweating it out, going through painful experience after painful experience and fatigue.

I do feel that I can achieve a toned body, though maybe not as toned as my peers whom I admire, but, you know, just the “normal kind of toned” at least. The difference that proves to be the deciding factor, is that they actually act on their desire to attain a good physique, while I on the other hand, am not committed enough, often creating excuses for myself and simply just not acting on my personal desire.

The same goes for my work ethic, my faith, my other personal goals (at least I think I have some now, or that I always had some, just that I never phrased it out).

I can minimize my tendency to procrastinate and place my concentration, time and effort into getting my work done efficiently like my peers who do so – it’s just that I don’t act on this with enough determination.

I can spend more time and effort reading the Bible (or actually read the Bible), doing my Bible study questions (or actually do my Bible study questions), doing my homework and preparing thoroughly for worship, participating in activities that reach out to others, even when such activities don’t seem so appealing – it’s just that I don’t act on this with enough conviction.

I can actually read up on psychology (which I think I’ll pursue in future, at the moment) or sociology, start acquiring a driving license, learn to ride a bicycle (yes, I’m admitting embarrassingly and hopefully as anonymously as possible here that I can’t ride a bicycle), read more books, exercise more often, control my appetite (cut down on eating when I’m not actually hungry and late at night), learn to cook, play the piano or guitar or drums… – it’s just that I have all these intentions, but I don’t do anything about them.

The problem and solution is pretty visible: too much time spent on fleeting thoughts and empty goals, too little effort in fulfilling them. Hoping to move on from self-pity, sighing and wishing I could be “like them” or better, and on to acting on what I wanna do.

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#223: It’s a pity; such a shame.

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