#163: domestic dilemma

There are some things money can’t buy.” Like experiences and memories, just to name two (I’ve left out ‘happiness’ cos I think that’s a little overrated). Well money does play a part in allowing for experiences and memories to be created; food, beverages, transport, location, attire, cameras, etc. But ultimately, it’s the human factor that really shapes our experiences and memories, that makes them worth seeking after and cherishing.

It doesn’t help when your parents, or in my case just one of the two, isn’t keen on letting you partake in events and activities that create these experiences and memories. What’s worse is I’m quite certain he knows what it means to me. The case he’ll put forth? My academics, my exams, my grades. I admit, I’ve fallen short in my academics and I’m trying to find the drive to avoid a repeat of my mid year horror. But it’s just ONE event, can’t he even let me off just for that ONE day?

And when you can’t have what money can’t buy you, you aim for a grade lower: go for what money can buy you. But even this alternative possesses so many restrictions. Window-shopping is a painful experience with him around. Seriously. I feel criminal for window-shopping whenever he’s around; just shopping with mum two months back was much more liberating. All the time I hold back from requesting to splurge on that tee, that pair of shoes, whatever fashionwear that pleases me. Not just because I know I already have a lot, but because of that uncomfortable feeling when he has to spend on me. Note to self: cut back on window-shopping when he’s around.

Seeing how frugal a mindset he’js trying to advocate, I don’t know if I ought to let him know I wanna get something online.. The bottomline is, I just feel rather suffocated. I just didn’t expect the life I want to lead to differ so much from my parents. I know I’m gonna need a really high paying job in future for my upkeep that’s for sure. I’m still chasing after, that life with a little more freedom…

Two weeks to prelims, zero studying done – hope I’m more sensible this time around.

#163: domestic dilemma

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