#142: wallflower.

I’m not gonna delude nor comfort myself this time saying “it’s okay to be alone, it’s okay to be left out”. No. This time, no. Really.

I sorta knew this was coming, but at the same time I silently hoped that it wouldn’t. It seemed like life decided to call my bluff and shoved reality *in-your-face* style. Yes, I’m left out again, of what some teenagers would call 1 of the highlights of teen life. (Big Hint: it’s gotta do with graduation).

Once again I find myself being left out of a social gathering of some sort. Once again I’m not someone’s first choice. Once again, I’m unwanted.

I thought I could leave that in my past, but I have to admit, last year and half way through 2012, my past still comes back to haunt me. Or maybe, it never left.

I’m gonna say something that you already know: Being left out sucks. A lot of times I find myself comforting myself that “being alone is okay” but some times, it really Is Not okay. I’m tired of deceiving myself all the time that it’s alright to not be liked or be someone’s first choice, be it to go out / have a gathering / as a teammate / dance partner / part of a routine / do random stuff / lead / etc.  No, really, I’m not okay with it at all.

wallflower:  (Adapted fromUrban Dictionary)

#142: wallflower.

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