Adapted from thesundaytimes June 3, 2012:
How did you handle the children’s adolescent phase?
- Mother: We kept the communication lines open. I also learnt to let go, so that they could develop their own character. When [her son] turned 18 and wanted to go clubbing, I persuaded my husband to say yes because if we did not give [son’s name] a chance to try it, he would not know if it was good or bad for him. The more you do not allow your children to do something, the more they will want to do it. – Key to family harmony, page 14.
‘The teenage years can be a stressful time. Teenagers are not quite adults, yet they are not children either. They have different priorities and needs, which adults sometimes cannot understand. …The key is in communication – find a way to understand what he is upset about. Do not jump into giving advice or pointing out his mistakes…try listening patiently and asking them questions that may give him a chance to explain. Boys can be particularly stubborn, so do not force the issue. Organize activities that create happy memories, so that he feels he is part of the family. Never scold him when you are angry or act on your anger because hurtful things may be said.’ – Listen and be patient, written by a consultant psychiatrist at Gleneagles Medical Centre, page 15.
But it’s not like my dad will read it. Even if he did, it’s not like he’ll ever change the way he treats me. Just saying.
On a lighter note, it was great lunching with Dhinesh, Sean, Brenda, Ben and Jonathan after church today. Relived the Sunday youth lunching times at ION Orchard’s tcc I used to have more often in my younger days (well, I’m not that old..just, more weary nowadays). Glad I caught some momentary respite over a nice meal, catching up, laughter and just being in their company for just two hours of my Sunday. Hope the army will be kind to Dhinesh who’s going in on Tuesday, and to Sean when he books in to camp again, that Ben will strike a good rapport with the cajon over church camp this coming week, that life will be kinder on Brenda who’s been busy with lots of things, and for Jonathan [and I] to have a ‘muggerful’ June.