#90: regrets aplenty

Today’s the day I’ve been looking forward to ever since my promos started. It’s been a long, tiring, frustrating journey. But now that I’ve come to the end of it, I don’t find much comfort in that thought. For one, there’s no rest after promos actually, whatever rest & playtime I get to enjoy, is really cos I choose to rest or play. Got tons of IAs, both formative & design to complete…that’s just for Bio. Hist IA’s been long overdue..

I suppose the most important reason why I don’t feel much respite from ending my exams is because of all the regrets that have accumulated over these few weeks. Regrets, of not starting revision early enough, of not revising during the exam period, of not giving two-hoots about the next day’s paper when I still had a little time to spare.

I’ve had quite a few firsts this promos. It was the first time I wrote almost completely quality nonsense for a paper (the one on my English novels) cos I didn’t have time to study for it when I initially assumed I would have. It was also the first time I stayed up way past my bed time to burn midnight oil, and not just once, but TWICE, in 2 nights within the same week (for the Hist essay paper & both my Bio papers).

My promos have really shown me just how lazy I really am. Every time I tell myself after I get back my results from my previous exams, “I’ll work harder next time around so that this doesn’t happen again“, each time, it never materializes. And the fact that I burnt midnight oil for the first time, shows how desperate I really got for this exams. Well, my 2012 depends on this, so I should give more than just two-hoots about it. Yes, I should’ve given more…

Now that it’s over, there’s only regret, hah but it’s pointless… All I could do, I did (meaning whatever quality nonsense I could fabricate to furiously pen down on my exam scripts). The rest of my 2011 & the whole of my 2012, is in the markers’ & God’s hands now.

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On a side note…

On this day, God wants you to know

“that when you’re unsure how to proceed, stop. Be still and enter into the silence. Allow your mind to cease its restless thinking. Wait. Let the answer come in its time. “

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#90: regrets aplenty

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