Prior to today, I took another 1 month hiatus from leading worship again. The IB workload’s really keeping me busy and unavailable to call on my worship team. But Hope, Yunsil, Jack and I finally met again back at our familiar chapel for worship practice yesterday.
From my perspective, I think I made quite a good choice of songs for today’s worship judging from the youths’ singing (apart from the last song – a new song, which I was quite fail in teaching the rest of the youths to sing lol). Yet, during practice yesterday, Jasmine (who came down to sit in for a while) pointed out many faults we had while playing. Not listening to each other, abrupt transitions, and for me especially, from Jasmine’s observation, I’m now certain I do have a problem with my enunciation.
I have to admit, it didn’t sound good hearing what Jasmine had to say. At that moment when she was pointing out our faults, I was reminded of the last time she did something similar when she sat in, and the mistakes she pointed out then got me really down. This time, I tried to take it in my stride instead. I tried to encourage my team, to try their best to improve on the areas we were found wanting.
For myself, I did something I haven’t done in quite a while when I got home after practice. I’m quite ashamed to admit that for the past few worships I’ve led, I didn’t plan my prayers beforehand and I just prayed spontaneously on Sunday morning. So to me, the prayers didn’t seem sincere. Last night, I thought to myself, “Ok, I’m going to sit down and write out what I am gonna pray for”, just like how I used to during my first few worship sessions last year.
And today, even though worship wasn’t 100% perfect, I am glad to say that I was happy with how it went. The atmosphere I felt reminded me of last year’s youth sunday when I was leading the adult congregation. The feeling that God is really with me as I led worship, and I simply soaked up the atmosphere. It wasn’t an outstanding worship, but I think the youths found it alright, and I for one found it liberating. I finally made an effort to put up a decent worship session for God, and in return God ensured that wherever it can go well, it did.
I for-see the coming week’s gonna be really energy-sapping and taxing. The IB workload is really taking its toil on me. Piling overdue work, more work coming, worse still some of which are going to be counted for my actual IB grade. There’s so much to do that I estimated, even if I go a few nights without sleep for say a week? I still won’t be able to finish everything by the end of that week. I just pray that God can guide me along my student life, just as how he did for today’s worship.