#73: a few little things that stand out among a blanket of discouragement

Was really tired yesterday, so I didn’t get to post this first-hand.

All this while I’ve always been rather consistent in my studies. I’ve always done enough to get grades that just satisfy expectations. But this time around, this mid-year exams that have just passed, it seems I may have finally broken my good track record. Apart from A Math last year – which I seriously needed help to cope with – I had never been told by my teachers that they wanted to see my parents for my results because I didn’t do well.

I got just that yesterday, when my history teacher read out a handful of names whose parents he wanted to meet for the upcoming parents-teachers’ meeting, and my name was the 1st of that handful.

…My initial reaction was, I just fell silent. I had hoped that I could score a decent result for all my subjects this mid years, despite knowing how much effort I should have put in but did not, and how I failed to plan my revision properly. But nah. This Is the reality. It’s a fact, I didn’t do well, for history at least. What’s even more bitter is that history used to be my best subject. I’ve really done my teachers – past & present, friends who have aided me in history before, my parents, God, and most importantly, myself, injustice.

I don’t know how I’ve done for my other subjects. So far, the prospects are, pretty bleak. I pray that this mine that blew up in my face (history) will be the only one. I know what I’ve done wrong.

… …

On another note, my co-teacher-in-charge of dance Ms Diana Chng said something during practice yesterday that caught my attention. It was something like “many people can do steps according to their counts, but only some can really turn them into dance“.

I’ve been out of touch with my performance items and with the performance date less than a month away, I really wanna be able to dance my items well, to feel the genre of the dance, and showcase it eventually. Hope I can turn Ms Chng’s words into a source of inspiration and motivation.

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#73: a few little things that stand out among a blanket of discouragement

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