#41: i lost a friend, somewhere along this bitterness

If i were someone else, i don’t think i would be friends with me. But he did. Random days suddenly starting a convo on MSN with the wackiest of things that brighten my day. He did. Helped me integrate into a social circle i would’ve found difficult to do so, all on my own. He did. Took me in, listened to my hours of shit, did everything to prevent me from getting into greater trouble, but more importantly, was there for me during my lowest phase in life. He did.

This, is for the greatest friend i’ve ever had.

I should’ve known better, that he was different from others. I should’ve known better, that he was someone i could call a friend without hesitation. But i allowed myself to be disillusioned.

Honestly, i’ve forgotten what really good friends are supposed to do, how really good friends will react, what a really good friend is like. Honestly, i don’t communicate with people alot nowadays. I don’t understand myself either.

Have i ran out of topics to talk to them? It seems like it. Why do people whom i would call friends without hesitation in the past seem distant from me now? Maybe because i myself am becoming estranged from them? 1 thing i know for sure is, i want to keep the friendships i’ve forged, but i just don’t know how.

I’m not sure if he will read this, but i am gonna post this. Many apologies won’t be able to represent how bad i feel towards him for letting him down. I hope, this post, can help mend things a little.

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#41: i lost a friend, somewhere along this bitterness

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